It’s currently 12:21 AM and I have just put my son back down to sleep for the second time since 7:30 PM. We’re going on night 3 of this fun little sleep regression/teething madness/time change bull crap, so you can only imagine the bags that have appeared underneath my tired eyes.
*update: this was beginning of a nasty fever virus that we are still enduring a week later*
As I was sitting there rocking my sweet boy back to sleep, trying not to think too loud for fear of waking him, I got this burning feeling in my cheeks – like I was angry or something. I wasn’t angry at him or at my situation or at the fact that I was dog tired, I was actually thinking about how some people truly think being a SAHM is an easy job filled with all this time to do whatever you want whenever you want. And holy shirt balls that couldn’t be farther from the truth. (By the way I used to be one of “those people”)
You see, I’m a used-to-be-working-mom-who-is-now-8-months-in-to-being-a-stay-at-home-mom. So, I feel kind of equipped to enlighten “those people” about just how incredibly hard it is to stay at home vs working outside of the home. I’ve done both and each are difficult in their own way, but honestly, FOR ME, staying home has been 10 times harder. The funny thing about it is, when I worked outside of the home I would always say that I would get bored being at home with my kids…that I would need something else to do…that I would go crazy.
HA! My goodness I was so naive. *face palm* I mean, I have 100% gone crazy but not in the way I thought I would. But y’all, if I had that mentality can you imagine what others think who don’t have children??
Staying home to raise your children is not as glamorous as some try to portray it to be. It’s actually quite the opposite. Now, don’t get me wrong I feel extremely fortunate to be able to stay home with my kids, but this ish ain’t easy! Being a stay at home mom actually reminds me a lot of when I was 9 months pregnant with my daughter and I took 18 kindergarteners to the zoo – there is a lot of sweating and it always ALWAYS smells like poop.
People think when you get to be home with your kids all day that you’re going out to lunch with your girlfriends and on cute little play dates and it’s all just perfection and relaxing. They think you get to sleep in and wear your pajamas all day and cut out cute shapes in the pb + j sandwiches. They probably even think that your kids just happily play independently while you vacuum and straighten up the house. *and when I say “they” I’m talking about my pre-stay at home mom self*
It’s taking your kids to Chick Fil A at 10:30 am because you need them to go burn some energy so that they’ll take a good nap.
It’s taking your kids to the park every day because you’re just not sure what else to do with them.
It’s having zero adult interaction besides the awkward “I’m so sorry” to another stranger at Target as you peel your tantrum throwing toddler off the floor of aisle 7.
It’s putting the baby down for a nap so that you can finally get a quick shower and brush your teeth…but then your toddler decides to join in on the fun and now you’re trying to shave your legs with a 2 year old staring at your private parts asking “what’s that mommy?”.
It’s forgetting to actually brush your teeth.
It’s drinking cold coffee that is meant to be hot.
It’s folding laundry and doing dishes and vacuuming and mopping and picking up and wiping down and putting away and taking out and this and that and doing all the things…with a needy baby tugging at our legs and another on our hip. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
It’s going to bed late and waking up early…and getting up a few extra times in between.
It’s putting everyone else’s needs before yours.
It’s holding the baby and yelling at the toddler to shut the door as you’re trying to do your bidness on the toilet.
It’s being sick and not being able to “call in sick”.
It’s getting no breaks – no time away to remember who you really are.
Its leggings and t-shirts every dang day, with no makeup and a buttload of dry shampoo.
It’s eating your kids leftovers because you were to busy to make yourself some food.
It’s praying to God that your children take a nap at the same time so that you can get something accomplished.
It’s sitting in the same spot on the couch all day because your new baby needs to be fed.
It’s counting down the minutes, seconds even, until your husband gets off work and walks through the door, so that you can pass the kids off to him and breathe for a hot minute.
It’s a lot of things. It’s a lot of heated moments, lost tempers, and time-outs. It’s pouring your entire soul into your children day in and day out. It’s sometimes losing yourself in your title as “mama”. It’s having to remind yourself that this is where you are needed the most. It’s mundane. It’s ordinary. It’s exhausting.
But, holy cow I’ve never loved a ‘job’ more than I do being at home with my kiddos.
It’s snuggles on the couch as we all are slowing still waking up.
It’s cooking breakfast for the entire family and being able to sit together and eat at our own pace.
It’s movies during lunch time and picnics on the living room floor.
It’s afternoon walks to the park and sitting in the backyard playing fetch with the dogs.
It’s being able to make memories all day every day – even if those memories are just spending a few hours walking around the toy aisle in Target.
It’s never having the feeling of missing out on your kids’ life.
It’s joyful chaos.
I think deep down I always knew that I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom simply because of my own mother. Growing up, and even now, she was/is always there to take care of us in addition to doing all the things around the house. She is the true definition of a superwoman – and I’ve always wanted to be just like her.
Staying at home with my babies is the greatest gift I could have ever been given. Although some days may be harder than others, I’ve never taken this opportunity for granted. I do my best to wake up each and every day, no matter how tired I am, and take the bull by the horns – potty training, sleep regressions, sickness, and everything in between. I’m here for it.
Stay at home Mamas I want you to hear me when I say this…you are doing Kingdom work. There IS glory in the everyday moments of picking up toys and doing the dishes and making pb+j sandwhiches, and forgetting to brush your teeth because you’re so focused on your kids’ needs. There IS glory in it all. The work you are doing, being with your kids day in and day out, matters so greatly to the Kingdom of Heaven.
You’re so much more than just a stay-at-home-mom.
Words From A Tired